skyring: (Default)
Skyring ([personal profile] skyring) wrote2005-11-11 11:46 am

On being a father

A man is standing in the queue at the supermarket when he notices a very dishy blonde behind him who has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he says, "Sorry, do you know me?"

The woman replies, "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.

"Christ!" he says, "Are you that strippergram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my friends whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my bum?!"

"No," the woman replies, coldly, "I teach your son English."

[identity profile] rarsberry.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
Hehehehe!! :o)

[identity profile] bookczuk.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
Was that autobiographical???? :)

Actually, I used to get patients come up to me in the grocery and tell be they didn't recognize me with my clothes on. Nursing Uinforms are wonderful things.....

[identity profile] skyring.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
Oh dear!

What a thing to ask of Rars!

And if it was crudely aimed at me, no, the teachers of my children run like hell if they see me on the horizon!

[identity profile] bookczuk.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
Whoops! Misplaced modifier!

That was indeed to you!

[identity profile] skyring.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
I made sure I didn't have a stag night. Took Kerri out to a nice restaurant, we sat outside under the pergola in the mellow Brisbane summer evening, sipped champagne and enjoyed the atmosphere.

A did the football team having their end of season celebration beside us.

[identity profile] rarsberry.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
What a thing to ask of Rars!

Ummmm, huh?
Did I miss something?

[identity profile] skyring.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
Just joking! Bookczuk seemed to be asking you if it was autobiographical, and I took her the wrong way, shocked that anyone would ask such a question of you.

Or me for that matter.

Really, these nurses are very earthy.

I was only posting that joke to be polite.

[identity profile] rarsberry.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
I understand now!! :o)

[identity profile] onyerbike.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
*Snort* Guffaw! Good thing I didn't have any soda in my mouth when I read that!

[identity profile] shendoah.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
baaahahahahahahahah!

I'm sending that to my sister (The teacher)

[identity profile] rendiru.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
Good one!

[identity profile] beckerbuns.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
OMG!!!!!!!!!

hahahahaha!

[identity profile] madame-urushiol.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
OMG! I can't wait to tell that one to Mick! He didn't have a stag night either, by the way. The men all got together the day before the wedding and had a nice sedate round of golf. I was the naughty one--my brother planned a coed hen night at a Mexican restaurant, and there are photos somewhere of me, drunk and bleary-eyed with a sombrero on my head, riding a mechanical chili pepper whilst clutching a 3' inflatable penis that everyone in the restaurant had signed.

[identity profile] martip.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, I want that pic posted, PRONTO!!

What??

[identity profile] woosang.livejournal.com 2005-11-12 08:25 am (UTC)(link)
WHat is a mechanical Chilli Pepper. The mind boggles at this image. Find the pics I have to see!!

[identity profile] cathepsut.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL! I have to forward that to my teacher-friends....

[identity profile] martip.livejournal.com 2005-11-11 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I saw the title to your post, and did NOT expect that! LOL!

[identity profile] lizmopuddy.livejournal.com 2005-11-12 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
I was at my local book group this evening, and one member (a teacher) read this out as a text message, and I laughed, that I had heard it twice in one day, from opposite sides of the globe

ROLF

[identity profile] woosang.livejournal.com 2005-11-12 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
Not like you but funny!!