Jul. 21st, 2010

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There's four main parties contesting the upcoming Commonwealth election.

Labor - the current government, led by Julia Gillard, who knifed the former Prime Minister a few weeks back.
Liberal - the previous government, led by ex-trainee-priest Tony Abbott.
National - pretty much just an appendage to the Liberals, not sure who runs the Nats. Doesn't matter.
Greens - led by Bob Brown, patrolling left field.

The campaign is starting to get weird:

A Greens candidate called Bob Brown says Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda may not be responsible for the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in the United States.

"There are huge questions that need to be asked - one building came down without being hit, architects say the buildings looked like they were brought down by controlled explosions," Mr Brown told the Western Port News.

"What happened to the bodies and planes at the Pentagon?"
—NineMSN News

This Bob Brown is not the same person as the Greens leader, though the colours match nicely.

The same article leads off with a wacko who assures us that people are killing themselves because of Tony Abbott's thoughts on sex. Unfortunately for Julia Gillard, this nutjob is an endorsed candidate for her party. She's probably thinking a few deep thoughts on his case, tending more towards death than sex, I would imagine.

Back when I was a political animal, we'd get people holding their hands up for endorsement with all sorts of weird and religious views. Their lives were imperfect because of various groups in the community, or some global conspiracy, or the fluoride in the water, and they wanted it fixed and if they got into Parliament they could fix it.

Needless to say, the media was fascinated by them, and our campaigns were a marvellous chaos. You never knew who was going to say what. The big parties would run tightly controlled campaigns, with everything approved by head office, the media pack driven around on the bus to one rehearsed event after another, and it was all boring as batshit. Our campaigns were the exact opposite.

Speaking of batshit, our guys were mostly good-hearted folk, but we had a few fruitloops, and we didn't have the party machine to stomp on them, and when they got a bit of media attention, they'd pretend their unnatural views were party policy that hadn't yet been announced, and the voters began to think we believed in UFOs, that the government committed secret atrocities, that we had a nifty tax scheme that would make everyone rich...

Oh hang on. That last bit was party policy. We had diagrams and graphs and everything.


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